BREAKING UP AFTER SPENDING 3YRS TOGETHER

                                                 The End    

           Of A 3 Year Relationship

   AFTER SPENDING THREE YEARS TOGETHER, SUDDENLY HE DECIDED TO BREAKUP WITH ME? WHY

WE ALL SUFFER FROM ARGUMENTS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH  OUR PARENTS, OUR LIFE PARTNER OR  FRIENDS. DO WE STOP BEING WITH THEM? NO

                                 LOVE IS THE ONLY REASON, PEOPLE DONT BACKOUT FROM RELATIONSHIPS BUT UNTIL IF ONE PERSON STARTED THINKING ABOUT THE PROBLEMS NOT ABOUT LOVE, THEN THE REAL PROBLEM BEGINS.
WE GO THROUGH FROM HUNDREDS OF PROBLEMS IN A DAY, BUT STILL, WE DONT BACKOUT FROM ALL OF THAT.

FINALLY, HE AGREED TO MEET ME AFTER HIS CONFESSION OF BREAKUP MESSAGE TO ME.
IT TOLK ME SO LONG TO UNDERSTAND WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS HE WAS GOING THROUGH JUST BECAUSE OF ME.

  MEETING HIM AFTER THE UNEXPECTED BREAKUP MESSAGE, ON OUR FAVOURITE PLACE. THE AWKWARD SILENCE TAKEN PLACE BETWEEN US FOR TEN MINUTES, I DECIDES TO ASK HIM THE REASON BEHIND HIS BACKOUT. I ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE REASON, BEHIND THE DECISION  OF BREAKING UP WITH ME? HE SAID, HE LOVES ME ALOT BUT DUE TO MAJOR PROBLEMS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS MADE HIM TO TALK THIS DECISION. HE GIVEN ME FIVE REASONS, WHICH MADE HIM TO MAKE THE DECISION OF BREAKING UP WITH ME. THE REASON WAS,
1. DAILY ARGUMENTS
2. NOT MAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP A PRIORITY
3. TRUST
4. GROWING APART
5. LACK OF COMMUNICATION
SO I DECIDED TO MAKE SOME SOLUTIONS OF THESE PROBLEMS AND LET HIM KNOW ACTUALLY WHOSE FAULT IT WAS,
SO, I ASKED HIM TO GIVE ME  A CHANCE TO DISCUSS THE SOLUTIONS OF THESE PROBLEMS, SO THAT IF HE AGREES TO THAT WE CAN GIVE ANOTHER CHANCE TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS.
1. DAILY ARGUMENTS.
 If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen

"You can't control anyone else's behavior," Silverman says. "The only one in your charge is you."

2.  NOT MAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP A PRIORITY

If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.

• Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, complement each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
• Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
• Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.

3. TRUST 

Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?

• Be consistent, Be on time, Do what you say you will do, Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others, Be fair, even in an argument, Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling, Call when you say you will, Call to say you'll be home late, Carry your fair share of the workload, Don't overreact when things go wrong, Never say things you can't take back, Don't dig up old wounds, Respect your partner's boundaries, Don’t be jealous, Be a good listener

4. GROWING APART

"Some couples change together, but it can be difficult when one of the seems to do most of the changing"

t’s normal to change over time. Some couples change together, but it can be difficult when one of us seems to do most of the changing. It’s important to think about how we can have a successful relationship with this “new” person and not spend your energy grieving over the person they were. This has the potential to be exciting, as we can discover new ways of being together. If we talk to each other and really feel we want different things as individuals, our relationship can still work, as long as we have enough that keeps you connected as a couple.

5. LACK OF COMMUNICATION 

Some couples have different communication styles, such as talkers versus non-talkers, or people who deal with things via talking versus people who like to get on with things. Other couples used to communicate well but have stopped listening to each other; instead they try to fill in the blanks and mind-read. Sometimes every conversation becomes a battle.

All of these problems can be overcome if the couple is willing to identify what goes wrong and make some changes. you can even do this by yourself if I won’t talk to you about it. Ask yourself: “What happens when I want to talk about something important?” “When did I last try hard to really listen and understand my partner?”

Think through what we want to say first. Choose our time and place. Practice “talk time”, where we each have three minutes to say what we need to say uninterrupted and then we’ll respond. Use email or write a letter if you have something important to say that you can’t find the words for. Try to use “I” statements and avoid blaming to me only;
when people get defensive it’s hard to listen well.

THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY TO GET OUT OF EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS JUST FIND THE WAY, DONT SKIP THE PROBLEM.

HE UNDERSTUDE WHAT WAS MISSING AND WHAT WAS WRONG WITH US, HE DECIDED TO  GIVE ANOTHER CHANCE TO OUR RELATIONSHIP. 

                                                                                                                                      -DEESAT